Rebels' Guide

I made a joke about a common wedding venue staff member: the aggressive male staffer who angrily delivers news to wedding vendors and guests that they’re doing it wrong and he’s pretty much disappointed that we exist. The thing is, it’s a trope that rings true. Most wedding venues have that guy. He has to come and break into your conversation to let you know you’re standing in the wrong place; or you’re smoking three centimetres too close to a gravesite of a former pet; or often in my case, he feels like he knows federal aviation (drone) law better than I do and he’s really disappointed in me being alive. And the even more depressing part is that I’ve been that guy. Frustratingly asking Aunt Sue to not record the ceremony on her OPD, or telling Phil’s dad that he doesn’t need to hold his iPhone up to record the ceremony as there’s already a video team here; or the most common one is asking guests to stop talking over your mum giving a speech. I’m sick of being that guy, but more-so, I’...

Tomorrow is my 11th celebrant birthday, 11 years a celebrant, wow, and today I’ve been thinking about all the funny/stupid things the wedding industry bought into my world over the last 11 years. Here’s a few that have been rattling around in my head. It’s hilarious how far photographers and videographers will go to make it look like no vendors, including the celebrant, were ever at the wedding. I see some wedding photo galleries and films, and there’s not even a slither of my arm in frame lol. What’s with the weird fantasy that no-one was working on a wedding? You’d be surprised how much time of my time is spent confirming which year a wedding enquiry is for, and where the wedding is going to be. There’s a heavy link between people who won’t pay a fee that allows me to maintain a sustainable business, that will still be operating when their wedding comes around, and people who are in Facebook groups after their wedding bitching about how ...